Apart from the usual Apps of Facebook, Twitter (and possibly LinkedIn if you didn’t read my previous post), I think that the Apps that you have on your iPhone tell a lot about who you are.

So, let’s take an example: if you have a load of Apps that are designed to help you sleep, keep you calm and the Starbucks App, all in one folder marked ‘lifestyle’, you are either a writer or drink too much coffee.

If you have a load of photo-editing Apps, well you’re barking up the wrong tree. Get a proper camera.

I genuinely think that if you managed to get hold of someone’s phone you could build up a very distinct psychological profile of the owner that would paint them in either a very bad or a very good light. Think of it as a really poorly made CSI episode when the show’s entire budget had been spent the previous week.

With that in mind – and doing some super-sleuthing and imagineering – I’ve profiled the eight most-used Apps of the babe of the nation, Sarah Palin. That teeth-whitened, former comedienne, ‘hockey mom turned destroyer of world’ pioneer:

So without further ado, here are the Apps:

1) Facebook

Well, obviously. She wants to update her page. She wants to keep her nearly 3 people happy (yep, 3 million – the size of a city – would you like to live in Palinsylvania?). She can also search on other people who have set up groups that say they don’t like her. A quick double-tap and they’re added to the list...they will be gone in 2012.

2) Angry Birds

And talking of 2012, let’s picture the scene. President Palin is standing around with all her Generals, plotting the tactical attack on South Korea-Stan or whatever. She needs to understand tactics, how to approach an enemy. Best way to learn? Getting to the later levels of Angry Birds. Although this may mean spending a lot of the defence budget on getting birds to spin back at the precise time.

3) 3D Hunting Alaska Hunt Plus!

Curse that Alaskan weather. Even though President Palin is doing her best to warm the whole place, some days you can’t go out and blow the brains out of an animal going about their business. But with this App, you can blow everything up without having to leave your lodge. And it’s free.

4) PS Express

Want to keep those teeth white? Remove those lines? It’s all part of the facade my dear friend. Simply crop and update on your iPad or iPhone with PS Express. And it’s easy to use so it’s a win.

5) Pzizz Energizer

After a hard day Governor-ing and Campaigning for World Domination you either have only a few hours to sleep or are too wound up. Well this app is perfect. Swim in the relaxing tones and plinky plonk music. I know it sounds all a bit New Age but no-one needs to know.

6) ITeaParty

Well, even though it’s just a shot of a tea pot, it’s nice to have it there on the phone. One day the proper app will be there....

7) Fox News

Every Governor/Future President wants to stay informed on the go. They want balanced, informed and non-biased news to allow them to make the right decisions on the important issues of the day. Or they want to just see their face broadcast all over their iPad/iPhone and hear how they will bring balance to the Force while finding out about the latest reality show that confirms why John Stewart is evil.

8) The Guardian

A rarely used App, but like they always say, ‘know thy enemy’ and a left wing, liberal British app such as this gives you an idea of what the misinformed think. Filled with pages about ‘global warming’ and criticisms of Murdoch, championing Socialism – it’s the perfect example of attacks on your ‘freedom of expression’.