Gareth's posterous

Gareth's posterous

Gareth Crew  //  Editor, writer and blogger. Welcome to my (sometimes) thoughts of the day.

 
Jul 28 / 10:15am

The Best Holidays to Do with the Kids

The signs are there. The traffic in the morning is sparser, ‘Friends’ appears on C4 from the hours of nine to eleven each day during the week, and those people who have children at work are looking, well, a little anxious…

It must mean just one thing: School’s out and it’s time for the summer holidays. ‘Yay’ say the kids, ‘boo’ say the parents and ‘exploitation!’ shout the owners of every single piece of entertainment in the Western World.

Like it? Read the full blog post here....

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Jul 1 / 8:39am

Happy Days, Unkempt Nights: The Best and Worst of Music Festivals

See Glastonbury last weekend? Wow it was awesome. I was sitting there, all comfortable at home, watching Beyonce strut her stuff on the main stage, and I thought to myself, wow, this is awesome – I would give anything to be there right now! More...

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May 31 / 9:23am

The Best Internet Browsers and Why You Should Care

No not Bowser, Browsers! You use one every day, maybe you use it for 10 hours a day if you have a proper job. You expose your life to them, you click on them, you upload pictures with them, talk to relatives with them, shop with them. 

More....

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May 3 / 9:46am

This year's top Summer Blockbusters...

Check out this link for a review of this year's best films - any you're looking for?

http://www.discountvouchers.co.uk/blog/the-top-summer-blockbusters-of-2011/

 

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Apr 27 / 9:31am

Apps for a would-be President

Apart from the usual Apps of Facebook, Twitter (and possibly LinkedIn if you didn’t read my previous post), I think that the Apps that you have on your iPhone tell a lot about who you are.

So, let’s take an example: if you have a load of Apps that are designed to help you sleep, keep you calm and the Starbucks App, all in one folder marked ‘lifestyle’, you are either a writer or drink too much coffee.

If you have a load of photo-editing Apps, well you’re barking up the wrong tree. Get a proper camera.

I genuinely think that if you managed to get hold of someone’s phone you could build up a very distinct psychological profile of the owner that would paint them in either a very bad or a very good light. Think of it as a really poorly made CSI episode when the show’s entire budget had been spent the previous week.

With that in mind – and doing some super-sleuthing and imagineering – I’ve profiled the eight most-used Apps of the babe of the nation, Sarah Palin. That teeth-whitened, former comedienne, ‘hockey mom turned destroyer of world’ pioneer:

So without further ado, here are the Apps:

1) Facebook

Well, obviously. She wants to update her page. She wants to keep her nearly 3 people happy (yep, 3 million – the size of a city – would you like to live in Palinsylvania?). She can also search on other people who have set up groups that say they don’t like her. A quick double-tap and they’re added to the list...they will be gone in 2012.

2) Angry Birds

And talking of 2012, let’s picture the scene. President Palin is standing around with all her Generals, plotting the tactical attack on South Korea-Stan or whatever. She needs to understand tactics, how to approach an enemy. Best way to learn? Getting to the later levels of Angry Birds. Although this may mean spending a lot of the defence budget on getting birds to spin back at the precise time.

3) 3D Hunting Alaska Hunt Plus!

Curse that Alaskan weather. Even though President Palin is doing her best to warm the whole place, some days you can’t go out and blow the brains out of an animal going about their business. But with this App, you can blow everything up without having to leave your lodge. And it’s free.

4) PS Express

Want to keep those teeth white? Remove those lines? It’s all part of the facade my dear friend. Simply crop and update on your iPad or iPhone with PS Express. And it’s easy to use so it’s a win.

5) Pzizz Energizer

After a hard day Governor-ing and Campaigning for World Domination you either have only a few hours to sleep or are too wound up. Well this app is perfect. Swim in the relaxing tones and plinky plonk music. I know it sounds all a bit New Age but no-one needs to know.

6) ITeaParty

Well, even though it’s just a shot of a tea pot, it’s nice to have it there on the phone. One day the proper app will be there....

7) Fox News

Every Governor/Future President wants to stay informed on the go. They want balanced, informed and non-biased news to allow them to make the right decisions on the important issues of the day. Or they want to just see their face broadcast all over their iPad/iPhone and hear how they will bring balance to the Force while finding out about the latest reality show that confirms why John Stewart is evil.

8) The Guardian

A rarely used App, but like they always say, ‘know thy enemy’ and a left wing, liberal British app such as this gives you an idea of what the misinformed think. Filled with pages about ‘global warming’ and criticisms of Murdoch, championing Socialism – it’s the perfect example of attacks on your ‘freedom of expression’.

 

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Apr 27 / 9:24am

What Else I'd like to see on the iPad 2

Where were you when he released it then? Was it one of those moments? Same as when he released the iPhone or iPod touch? Do you remember that you stopped eating and stared blankly at the flickering screen in the corner, dumbfounded that this technology was created on Earth and not beamed through space by some sort of god like Q from Star Trek?

Or was the iPad a slight disappointment? “Oh, it’s a bit thinner. That’s nice.”

I’m undecided if this new shiny pad is going to be the seminal work of the above, or indeed have the same impact of its older brother. So, pay attention Mr Jobs. Loosen that turtleneck and read my post – and only mine! And I will list for you what you’ve done wrong, and additional things that you should’ve included. You can thank me later, and I will accept my full consultancy fee.

Anyways, on with the list:

1) HDMI Port

Full HD with mirroring? Cool! $40 connector to connect an HDMI cable up to watch in full HD? Not cool. What is wrong with an HDMI port? I think it’s the de rigueur now for pretty much everything in HD, so why did Apple not bite the bullet and put in a port that would allow you to plug your existing cables right in? Answers on two crisp £20 bills please.

2) SD/Micro SD Memory Slot

Ok, maybe I’m going nuts here but wouldn’t it be awesome if you could transfer some data the old fashioned way? I know it’s all ‘cloud’ this, and ‘Google looking at your mails’ that. But perhaps you want to expand your iPad’s memory (I’ll get to that in a bit) or you want to perhaps exchange some data without using Wi-Fi or 3G coverage (believe you me, this scenario does exist!). Man, that would be helpful!

3) More Memory

I was so waiting for a 128GB version and I would’ve bet my black turtleneck and jeans on Lord Jobs releasing one earlier this week. The fantastic ability of using the power of the new iPad, dealing with everything in HD (even with a cool cable) is going to eat up a lot of memory. I mean this thing is going to be a lifestyle, isn’t it?  I think instead of making the iPad thinner, they should’ve made it remember more.

4) Bridging Operating System

Be bold Apple. With the imminent release of Lion, put a version on the iPad so that both computer and tablet can mingle together, downloading Apps, and with the added advantage of getting all the extra room to run about that is bestowed on you with a full, grown-up adult operating system. I guess we’ll have to wait for next year for that to happen.

5) App Developer

Yes, I know I’m getting into the realms of complete fantasy here, but how awesome would it be that Apple could give you the ability to develop Apps for the iPad that are exclusively created on the platform that it’s designed for? I can just imagine what sort of amazing Apps some kids would come up with! Oh, and come to think of it, allow the App Developer to load up Apps outside of iTunes. No? Oh well...

6) Flash

You think that I would write a whole post and not mention this elephant in the room? Let’s leave it at that, shall we, and move on with our lives? Although, let me tell you this. I was on my Apple device the other night, and went to a newly-designed/refreshed site. This is a world-leading site and it was built on Flash so I couldn’t actually see it. It still happens...

7) A Stylus

A few weeks ago I got completely obsessed with the NoteSlate that has been written about. It was...like paper....but on a tablet. Awesome, awesome, awesome. One of the main things that the iPad should promote is the chance for everyone to use the Tablet, freehand. And I know that styli (or is that styluses?) are available, but I want an Apple one, designed into the cool cover, and an official freehand App that will encourage everyone to get rid of paper. Forever.

So, that’s my list – do you agree with me? Am I wrong? Anything else you want to add? 

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Feb 9 / 1:18pm

Squash game 1

Played Squash this evening, with the wonderful Newel-Kirkner.

First game in over a year, at the moment, I'm still on a high, but it'll hurt tomorrow!

The scores tonight were:

11-9
3-11
9-7 (then our time was up)

More of the same - it was brill!

Gareth

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Dec 15 / 8:24am

Valentino Rossi is the enemy of MotoGP

I take it you’ve heard, Michael Schumacher is coming back to Formula 1. With Mercedes, if you didn’t know. It’s amazing, the furore that has been created by an ex-World Champion shoe-horning himself back into a F1 car has been absolutely incredible. People are going insane about Schumey versues Hamilton, or Vettel or Eddie Jordan!

Like the Apple tablet, it has to happen even if it wasn’t, the publicity around it demands it.

And this got me thinking, with the current, dilapidated state of MotoGP, who would cause such a massive excitement? Who, coming out of retirement would make everyone get excited? Alex Criville? Kenny Roberts Junior? Steve Spray?

And that’s the problem, because the premier class of racing has been absolutely dominated throughout the decade by an unstoppable commercial force named Mr V. Rossi. He has been defeated in the Championship only three times since he began his ascension in 2000. He was beaten in his first year by Kenny Roberts, once by Nicky Hayden and once by Casey Stoner.

But notice how I say Rossi was beaten, not that other people have won the title. Rossi’s charisma and marketing appeal has changed the game in bike racing. Funny, one of the most gifted racers of all time, articulate and good looking, just simply being blindingly quick is, as Casey Stoner is finding out, not enough.

And therein lies the problem.  Back when Doohan was ruling the roost in Grand Prixs, it was about racing prototype machines and the customers can go jump. The purest throughout the world (apart from the UK) loved the 500s and all they stood for and the WSB race, was well, proddy racing….

But, two major things happened, firstly, WSB moved from 750cc to 1000cc machines (which demonstrated that a 1000cc four-stroke bike, with work, could beat a 500cc two-stroke). And secondly, Honda saw the marketing ability of Rossi, and dug up their own mantle, “Win on Sunday, sell on Monday.”

But they were at a loss, and wanted to use Rossi sell their bikes but couldn’t do it with 500s, so the rules were changed to four-stroke 990cc machines, super-superbikes that were prototypes. And all was good.

Rossi won, the grids were full, the racing close and the road bikes were being sold. But the bikes were too fast and considered dangerous. Something had to be done. Apparently. But the marketing opportunities were too good for these super super bikes, so instead of reverting back to 500 two-stokes that have no resemblance to customer machines, they slashed the capacity of the machines to 800cc and continued along this horrible path.

This change didn’t alter the speed of the bikes, but made them easier to ride to the limit which made only one line available and destroyed the racing. The bikes became more expensive, and with the credit crunch teams started to fall away.

And now, we have no 250s, a one make 600 class and proddie-prototypes in 2012. What’s happened?

I can’t help but think that if Rossi wasn’t so damn marketable, we’d still have proto-types and production bikes racing in two series separately and not have this terrible situation where two major championships are chasing the same mantle.

It’s your fault Rossi.

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Dec 2 / 6:24am

Marks and Spencers are inept fools

 


This is a complaints letter to Marks and Spencer that my parents have written. They wanted me, as I do some 'social media thingey' to publicise the terrible treatment they got when they recently bought an oven from the inept bunch of lollygaggers.



Complaints Department Manager

Marks and Spencer

Aspinal House, Aspinal Way,

 Horwich, Bolton, BL6 6QQ                                                                 23rd November 09

 

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

I placed an order for a double oven from your website on Wednesday 11 November, I choose Marks and Spencer, because of the service I assumed I would get. How could I be so wrong!

The order arrived on Friday 13th November, as requested. On examining the appliance we found that it needed to be hardwired, something that was not made clear on your website.

We rang you on Friday evening, explained the problem, and was told by the gentleman that we spoke to, that the order would be cancelled , collection arranged for Monday 16th Nov., but we had to pay for collection  £99,99, we were not happy, but agreed.

We were told collection could take place between 7.00am and 7pm, so I waited in ALL day, no collection.

We rang Monday evening, could get no sense from the person who answered the phone, so was transferred to David Ingram. We were told that our money had not been refunded and no collection request had been actioned. Of course we were not happy.

Mr Ingram, said he would sort out the problem, and would ring back, the next day, he duly rang, said our money had been refunded, plus £50 of the collection fee, and that we would have collection on Friday 20th Nov. He would ring and let us know on Thursday afternoon, which delivery slot we would be given.   I waited in all Thursday afternoon, no phone call, so at around 5.00pm decided to ring and speak to someone. I spoke to a lady called Jackie. Who said she had seen the paper work, but  no collection had been arranged for Friday.

She was very understanding and could understand, why I was so livid, she said she would arrange for the collection on Saturday 21st Nov.  I told her I was considering charging you storage fees, as the cooker had now been sitting in my conservatory for a week.

My husband could not believe that we had been let down again, and rang and asked to speak to Mr Ingram. He said that collection had been arranged for Friday, but he would double check.  He rang back, said very sorry, but what we had been told was correct. Someone had not followed the collection procedure through. By this time, we were utterly fed up, and threaten to put the offending item in garden, so that they could collect it at their convenience. He assured us collection would be made on Saturday 21st Nov. And he would ring us and let us know when. He also deducted the rest of the collection fee.

Thankfully it was duly collected 1.00p.m on Saturday.

My reason for writing this letter, something, I have never had to do before, is to ask you to explain, why a simple thing like the collection of this appliance went so wrong, and why we were treated like this.  I lost a days earnings on the Monday, waiting in all day, and several hours earnings on the Thursday afternoon, waiting for the phone call. 

All this might seem trivial to yourself, but it has driven us crazy, we had an expensive item, just sitting in our conservatory, we felt that we did all the right things, but were totally mislead by your staff and company.

We feel that you as a company have really let us down, and least expect a written explanation and apology from such a well known company.

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Nov 3 / 7:56am

The best iPhone travel apps out there...

I really want an iPhone, and once Vodafone release it, I will be third in the queue. And these are the reasons I want it:

http://overseas.com.au/blog/index.php/best-iphone-travel-apps-available-for-free/

G

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